Alan Parry: What’s in a name…
What’s in a name? Well, quite a lot of letters if you’re the unpopular guy behind the goal at Borussia Monchengladbach who turns to his fellow fans and urges them to ‘Give us a B’…
It could be a lot worse, of course. You could be a supporter of the Welsh football club based in Anglesey called – take a deep breath – Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiligogogoch (58 letters if you can’t be bothered to count).
It got me thinking about the most unusual names adopted by the walking football fraternity and I discovered an amusing mixture of innuendo and irony.
For instance, the South Reading Coffin Dodgers and Hull Pacemakers have obviously embraced the health benefits of remaining active in your autumn years but it doesn’t seem to have had the same affect on the players of Arthritico Madrid.
The need for a bit of medicinal help to get you through those walking football sessions is reflected in the names Rampiril Rovers and Statin Saints while the Aldershot based club Older-shot get the award for honesty!
“The club I play for, South Bucks and Chilterns WFC, fields two teams in a local league.”
“The Crumblies (dictionary definition: ‘elderly or easy crumbled’) and our ‘youth’ team the Crinklies (definition: ‘to become covered in many small lines and folds’).”
Other gems include Jammy Codgers, Woodley Deadbeats and the Cove club in Hampshire who have a number of teams that always finish with the word ‘crap’!
However, all these names seem quite normal when compared with some of the bizarre monikers in the wider football world. A quick Google search throws up some truly hilarious names being used in other countries.
Switzerland is responsible for Grasshoppers Zurich and a name that could never be used in the WF world, Young Boys of Berne. The same applies to Ghana’s King Faisal Babes and in case you were wondering they are a men’s team!
Argentina’s Deportivo Moron could apply to a few teams I’ve played with and against over the years and the same could be said of Naughty Boys from Botswana, a country that also gives us a club ominously called Meat Commission FC.
Ethopia provides us with Eritrea Shoe Factory while the Bahamas League includes a club called Insurance Management Bears. Nearer to home there’s an outfit in Scotland known as Civil Service Strollers.
But the gold medal contenders in the Funny Names Olympics have to be two clubs I found in Scandinavia and South America. Norway have a team called Footballaget Fart (I wouldn’t want to spend too long in their dressing room) but you have to travel all the way to Peru for the most colourful name of all – wait for it – Deportivo Wanka.
I’m tempted to say that they win the title ‘hands down’!